Friday-30/12/11- Rachel - Ending Christmas and Starting New Year

siajanewords.blogspot.com

Today I am discussing the end of Christmas and this middle period into New Year.
The end of Christmas can be exhausting and difficult, and the prospect of a New Year overwhelming and scary.
Yet, there are positives to be found :)
I hope you have all enjoyed your Christmas and found some pleasure and I look forward to the journey that lies ahead in 2012.

Thursday-22/12/11- Thankful Thursday-Rachel-You Can Get Through Christma...

siajanewords.blogspot.com

The Christmas period can be a really tough time when you have an eating disorder (in recovery from) or even have other issues such as anxiety, and social anxiety problems.
There tends to be an over focus on drink, food and parties.
BUT with some time, some thought and even some planning, you can enjoy it.
You can see it as *another* day but also one that as long as you remember to breath, you can get through.

Tuesday-20/12/11-Triumphant Tuesday-Rachel-Body Checking as a Behaviour

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Today I have looked at the topic of body checking.
This might seem like an odd behaviour to explore, yet it is something everyone with an Eating Disorder will have experienced.
Body checking behaviours include excessive weighing, measuring body parts, trying on clothes compulsively, but also avoidance behaviours such as not looking in mirrors, avoiding clothes shopping and many more.
This is a fascinating topic (and hopefully video) as it is yet another behaviour that adds to the complexity of Eating Disorders.

Rachel is Catching Up :) SMART goal setting

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SMART goals
S (specific)
M (measurable)
A (achievable)
R (realistic and resourced)
T (time limited)

I discuss this method of goal setting with regards to a *goal* in an Eating Disorder and a goal in reducing self harm.

Allow Yourself to Live ♥

By archi

I think it is very easy for us to let life pass us by.

To exist in a place that feels safe.

Caged into a mindset and home, or an environment, that feels safe.

And whilst living needs to contain safety and security, there comes a time when that safety and security becomes the one thing that holds us back.

If we allow ourselves to remain trapped in our own heads, we are closing so many doors that could potentially take us out of our self made box.,

I remember the comfort of four walls.

The same four walls surrounding me.

Nothing mattered more than the four walls I contained myself in.

In that place, mindset, life becomes even scarier.

We fear the outside, and even more so when we continue to close ourselves down.

The thing is, is that life is for living.

There are times when we cannot do that.
And I appreciate that it is not as simple as just *living*

Yet, you have a choice, even if that choice is to allow trusting another.

An example is trusting your treatment team (if you have one) and the things they say.

The truth of it all is that you do deserve to live.

And whilst you may not feel that now, life is there for you.

And maybe you need to let go a little and explore how amazing potential recovery can be  ♥

Rachel is Catching Up :) Toolbox and Traffic Lights

I have had no webcam and endless technology issues!
BUT! I am back ;)
Today I am looking at a toolbox in recovery, but with a twist.
I look at a toolbox from the perspective of a "traffic light" poster.
Whereby at various stages of distress and illness, we may use different sets of tools.
I hope you enjoy :)

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Thursday-11/11/11-Thankful Thursday-Rachel-Eating Disorders, Personality...

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Eating disorders and personality disorders.
This week I discuss personality disorders with specific overall focus on BPD (borderline personality disorder)
I discuss therapies such as CBT, Schema therapy and DBT (dialectical behavioural therapy) and how they can help reduce both eating distress and borderline traits.

Monday-7/11/11-Marvelous Monday-Rachel-Recovery, Eating Disorders and Bi...

siajanewords.blogspot.com

Sorry for the delay in this video.

But finally I have been able to make it and upload it.

I will be looking at managing Bipolar, which I believe is possible, and recovery from an Eating Disorder.

I am fully recovered from my Eating Disorder and yet remain on medication.

I explore some of the ways in which Bipolar can be managed.

Julie de Waroquier

From today (ensuring I passed today's exam) I officially have completed my post-graduate in Psychology.
Which means, I am not able to work clinically and apply now for my Clinical Psychology PhD.
I cannot tell you how thrilled I am.
It means I am qualified enough to not *have* to do my clinical training, but that is something I am pretty much convinced I want to.
I think I am going to apply to Oxford University, Liverpool, Manchester and Leeds University.
My dream is to go to Oxford. Not because it is Oxford, but because it is so beautiful around there.
The girl and I have discussed living there and the course sounds amazing.
Not just that, they have a pretty long standing reputation within eating disorders so, I am thinking, that might be best.
Either way, getting accepted would be amazing, for any of them.

There is a high possibility I will be rejected, BUT I am hoping that with the graduate course and a mass of volunteer experience, those lovely people will let me come and live my dream out.

This marks the end of one chapter and the whole opening of a brand new one.
I actually cannot believe I got this far.

Little me, who was told I would never recover.
Who was told I would never live out all the dreams I had.
Who was told I couldn't ever get through university (let alone grad school too).

I can't believe, here I am.
Qualified.
And about to begin the next step.
I am so excited :)

I need to sort my CV out this week and try to find some work.
There are so few jobs available and rather than worry about that now, I am going to enjoy some time for myself.

So much love  ♥

Thursday-20/10/11-Thankful Thursday-Rachel- Co-morbidity - Anxiety and OCD

siajanewords@blogspot.com

I am so sorry about the quality! My webcam hates me!

This week we are again looking at eating disorders and co-morbidity.
This weeks focus is on OCD - obsessive compulsive disorder and anxiety.
I believe that the prevalence of these disorders is very common with those who suffer from eating disorders.
I also think that very often, such symptoms will go into remission when the eating disorder is not active.
However, this of course is not always the case and many still struggle with either issues, or both, when recovered from an eating disorder.
Again, I believe both can also be treated as successfully as an eating disorder can :)

Thursday-13/10/11-Thankful Thursday-Rachel-Eating Disorders, Psychosis a...

siajanewords.blogspot.com

This week is week two of our rotation on co-morbidity and eating disorders.
This wee we specifically look at psychosis and schizophrenia.
I try to express my thoughts on symptoms of these two issues and reassure viewers that eating disorders can manifest themselves in numerous ways, including the symptoms of both these illnesses.
I also discuss schizo-affective disorder which is more commonly diagnosed, alone, or in conjunction with an eating disorder.

Thursday-06/10/10-Thankful Thursday-Rachel-The Cycle of ED's, Depression...

siajanewords.blogspot.com

This week is the start of a new rotation looking at eating disorders and co-morbidity.
Eating disorders rarely occur in isolation and this week we look at self-harm and depression.
I have dealt with and recovered from all three and truly believe it is possible to fully recover from them all.

The Blind Side

"Courage is a hard thing to figure, you can have courage based on a dumb idea or a mistake, but you’re not supposed to question adults or your coach or your teacher because they make the rules. Maybe they know best, but maybe they don’t. It all depends on who you are and where you come from. Didn’t at least some of the 600 guys think about giving up and joining the other side?  I mean valley of death, that’s pretty salty stuff. That’s why courage is tricky, should you always do what others tell you to do? Sometimes you might not even know why you are doing something. I mean, any fool can have courage, but honour, that’s the real reason you either do something or you don’t.  It’s who you are and maybe who you want to be. If you die, trying for something important, then you have both honour and courage, and that’s pretty good. I think that is what the writer is saying, that you should hope for courage and try for honour. And maybe even pray that the people telling you what to do have some too."

Saturday-01/10/11- Spirited Saturday- Rachel - Living with Other People ...

siajanewords.blogspot.com
holdontopower.blogspot.com

Sorry for the late upload!!

This week concerns the difficulties we can have when struggling/in recovery whilst either living at home, living with a room mate, living with family, living with a partner...
Some of which can be unhelpful environments for some, and helpful for others.
I discuss a spectrum of circumstances and include environments that are helpful but there is still conflict, and those in which the conflict is so severe it actually makes recovery more difficult.

Thursday-22/09/11-Thankful Thursday-Rachel-Does the perfect recovery exist?

siajanewords.blogspot.com

This week, we were asked by a viewer about whether the "perfect" recovery exists.
My answer is no, and this video explains why.
However, it is also important to note that whilst we have expectations on ourselves to be perfect, it is okay to not always get it right.
Recovery is about learning from our mistakes, our slips, our moments.
We cannot do anything "perfectly" but we can do things to the best of our ability and as long as we are trying, that is what matters.

Thursday-27/01/11-Thankful Thursday-Rachel-Why Recover? Why Not?

What reasons do YOU have to recover? <3

Thursday-15/09/11-Thankful Thursday-Rachel-Achieving a Positive Body Image

This week we are bringing together the rota we have covered on body image.
I discuss the ways in which I have, and I believe others have, achieved a positive body image.
Recovery is a long and hard road, yet also, it is full of hope.
Achieving a positive body image is possible!
Hopefully you can apply some of these ideas :)

Thursday- 08/09/11-Thankful Thursday-Rachel-Boosting Body Image & Self E...

This week, I discuss body dissatisfaction and ways in which we can boost our self esteem, and in turn, how we feel about ourselves, inside and out.
I try to advice on the best ways to elevate how you feel towards and about yourself, so there is less anger and hatred towards your body.
This may mean not associating with people who are critical or put you down. It might mean engaging in an activity that connects you to your body.
Also, how to break through barriers to positive body image

Thursday-11/08/11-Thankful Thursday-Rachel-Dealing with Comments from Ot...

Coping with comments that are inevitable for any of us, recovery or otherwise.
Weight/appearance/food...
And how we can manage them and move forward and disregard them if possible.

Thursday- 21/07/11-Thankful Thursday-Rachel-Trying to Re-connect with Yo...

This week we discuss body intelligence.
I try to suggest ways of getting in sync with your body.
Learning to listen to your body cues for tiredness, hunger, stress, anxiety -
Things that most sufferers are very disconnect from.
Eating disorders detach us from ourselves and can make us feel very isolated.
I try to help you with recognising moods and feelings and being able to put them in context.

Thursday-14/07/11-Thankful Thursday-Rachel-Desensitize Yourself From the...

This week we are discussing dieting.
I talk about why women/men feel this need to "conform"
I try to help you understand how dieting can lead to some forms of eating disorders.
But try to also distinguish why diets are different.
However, I do believe that many of those who seek out dieting and focus on the body and size, can be emotionally driven, but not necessarily to the extent of the destructiveness of eating disorders.
There are also clear health implications connected to dieting.

Thursday-07/07/11-Thankful Thursday-Rachel-Recovery Messages from Others...

RECOVERY MESSAGES:

I discuss recovery messages in the context of those which are perpetuated by media/family/friends/professionals about recovery not being possible.
And then discuss my "message" with regards to recovery/being recovered.
And finally, means of providing and inspiring your OWN recovery messages and mantras.

A Letter of H.O.P.E

"A LETTER OF HOPE - RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE"

Mirror Mirror.org

The first step towards recovery is admitting that you have an eating disorder. If you have been able to do that, you should be really proud of yourself, because it is not an easy thing to do. It is important to remember that recovering from an eating disorder does take a lot of hard work and time. You did not develop your eating disorder over night, and it will not go away that quickly either. Recovery can happen and it will, as long as you want it.

On your journey to recovery you will experience good days and bad days. Imagine that you are on a roller coaster ride. You will have a lot of ups and downs, but when the ride comes to its final stop, you will feel an inner peace and you will be free.

On the days when you feel trapped, hopeless and feel like giving up, those are the days you need to fight even harder. Never give up, because recovery is worth fighting for. Those inner voices can become very loud at times, but you do have the choice not to listen to them. Remember that those voices are only lying to you, and if you continue to listen to them, they will destroy you. You are stronger than those voices and you can go against them. The more you go against them, the weaker they will become. Each time you do succeed and ignore those voices, you are another step closer to recovery.

It is very important that you do seek help and support during your recovery. No one can do this alone and it is okay to ask for help. I tried for a long time to overcome my eating disorder on my own, but it just is not possible. Many of us find it difficult to seek help or feel too ashamed to admit to another person that we have an eating disorder. There is no shame in having an eating disorder and there is help available. You need someone to help you deal with and come to terms with the underlying issues that are causing you to do this to yourself. It's not easy to open up to someone and talk about how you are feeling, but it is necessary. I was always the type of person who kept everything to myself because I didn't want to bother anyone with my problems, but now that I have started talking, I feel like a big weight is being lifted off my shoulders. I still find it difficult to reveal my true feelings, and it can be scary at times, but I continue to do so, because I know it's what I have to do in order to free myself from my eating disorder. I personally feel, you have to heal the mind, before you can totally heal the body. Each day I continue to try my hardest to provide my body with the nutrition it needs and deserves. I don't always succeed, but I continue trying. I know that I will probably never be truly at peace with food and my body, until I deal with the issues that caused me to do this to myself and until I learn how to love and accept myself.

Thinking about living a life without your eating disorder can be frightening. You may wonder how you will live without it. When I first started receiving help, I was afraid to let go of it, because I didn't believe I could live without it. Even though I was afraid to live without it, deep down I knew that I could not survive with it. I wanted to live, which meant I really had to start fighting to make that happen. I also needed to remind myself that I could not recover perfectly and I needed to stop trying to. Every time I had a slip, I would get so angry with myself and I would end up punishing myself more. During recovery you will probably experience periods of relapse. It's natural for this to happen and it's to be expected. Don't get angry with yourself and don't dwell on it. Instead, remind yourself of all the positive things you have done and all the progress you have made. You can also learn from those relapses, and in the long run, they will make you stronger.

I have suffered from an eating disorder for twenty years and although I'm not totally recovered, and still have a ways to go, I have come a long way and I am confident that one day I will be totally freed from this eating disorder that has robbed me of so many precious years of my life. Looking back over the years, it sometimes amazes that I'm still alive, but I am very grateful to be alive, because I know that so many other people weren't as fortunate as I am. Those negative voices are still present, but I have chosen not to listen to them and I go against them daily, and so can you. I've also been blessed with a wonderful support system. I have a loving husband, family, and friends. I have been fortunate to meet many wonderful people through the internet that also suffer from an eating disorder. I have support from a family doctor who takes special care of me, and last, but certainly not least, I have the support from a wonderful therapist. He encourages me, supports me and most importantly, he listens to me. He has never given up on me and he believes in me. If it wasn't for him, I would have given up on myself a long time ago.

Recovering from an eating disorder is not easy, and at times it may feel impossible. It's important to keep fighting and never give up, because you are worth saving. Your eating disorder has been your only means of coping for a long time and it will take time to learn new and healthier ways of coping, but it is not impossible. Even though we need help and support to recover, the decision to recover is up to us. No one can make us recover and we are the ones that need to accept the help and take the necessary steps in order to make that happen. You also need to have faith in yourself and you need to start believing in yourself. If you believe in yourself, you can do anything you set your mind to and you can recover. There is a beautiful life waiting for you beyond your eating disorder, but it is up to you to find it.

I hope the information I have provided on this web site can be of help to you or to a loved one that is suffering from an eating disorder. It is my dream that one day no one will have to experience the pain of an eating disorder. Remember that eating disorders can be beaten, you don't have to be a prisoner to this anymore. You have suffered long enough and now it's time to set yourself free.

Thursday-30/06/11-Thankful Thursday-Rachel- Recognising and Managing Tri...

siajanewords.blogspot.com

This week I talk about dealing with triggers.
Different things effect different people.
One of those identified is pro-anorexia material.
I also look at how other things in your environment can trigger and perpetuate eating disorder behaviours,
I end by hopefully supporting you in how to step away from those triggers you can.

Anti Binge/Purge Tactics

Don't Binge!!!

In order to stop the cycle it only makes sense to prevent the cause. So here's my list of things that will help me from binging.

• Read this page over and over until it sinks in
• Don't starve yourself (would be irresponsible for me not to add that)
• Remove yourself from stressful situations
• Go for a drive or a walk
• Don't suppress your feelings, let people know if something is bothering you
• Think about what you're really 'hungry' for, what it is you really want, what is it that's really bothering you
• Breathe
• If you eat more than your daily allowance for the love of God don't say "fuck it", because believe it or not eating more will make you feel a hundred times worse.
• Every time you stretch your stomach to the limit you're tearing the tissue, which leads to dead cells or causing your stomach to rupture = death :O !
• Think about how terrible you will feel after the binge
• Remember all the hard work you've put into recovery. 
• Take a long hot bath instead
• Read a book
• Surf the net
• Paint your nails
• Get out of the house, get out of the kitchen!
• Call a friend
• Have a cup of tea
• Food will always be there, do you really need it NOW NOW NOW?
• Sleep
• Blog
• Brush your teeth
• Have a cigarette
• Give yourself a facial
• Don't let yourself get bored
• Write down the list of foods that you think you would possibly binge on or would like to binge on, and add up all the calories that would potentially be consumed and the money spent if you were do buy these foods; if you like put that money away for a future reward for not giving into the binge! 

If all else fails and I do binge, I must remember there are other ways in which I can handle the situation.

• Take a walk. Get out the house.
• STOP! Think about what you're doing
• People die from purging, do you want to be known as the girl who died with a toothbrush down her throat
• The bill from the dentist really hurts as well
• Breathe, it's not the end of the world
• Have a cigarette and evaluate the situation, what can you do that will make you feel better, besides purging OBVIOUSLY, because ultimately that won't make you feel any better
• Sleep
• Cry if you want to ;)
• Consider how long you've gone without purging, and we all know how much you love to break a record
• Purging does not rid yourself of all the calories, and the damage it does to your health is far worse then any weight gain.
• Purging is toxic and addictive, don't give in.

Write your own list of things that may help you to stop binging; try and making positive changes and not create or manifest negative disordered behaviours!

Thursday-19/05/11-Thankful Thursday-Rachel-How Can I "be" in My Body

Want to feel safe in your own skin?

Do you want to appreciate your body and feel good about yourself?

After tonight's chat, this video seemed to have even more power.

We discussed not feeling good inside ourselves and our bodies.

So hopefully this can be some reassurance !

Bill of Emotional Rights

Check out here....

You fill in your own....

Post them below :)

I had these from a friend's therapist:

Bill of Emotional Rights:

-You have the right to put yourself first sometimes.
-You have the right to make mistakes.
-You have the right to be the final judge of your feelings and accept that as legitimate.
-You have the right to have your own opinions and convictions.
-You have the right to change your mind or decide on a different course of action.
-You have the right to protest unfair treatment or criticism.
-You have a right to ask for help or emotional support.
-You have a right to feel and express pain.
-You have a right to ignore the advice from others.
-You have a right to receive formal recognition for your work and achievements.
-You have a right to say "no."
-You have a right to be alone, even if others would prefer your company.
-You have a right not to have to justify yourself to others.
-You have a right not to always worry about the goodwill of others.

Book Recommendations

I added a section where I am going to try to build up a really worthwhile book list.

I have read a lot of books over the years I am trying to only put those up that have made a real difference to me.

So I will keep trying to expand on that.

If you have any yourself, do post them here and I can add them :)

Thursday-12/05/11-Thankful Thursday-Rachel-Making Choices With Treatment

This week:

I discuss treatment with regards to when we first access treatment and how that feels.

I try to advice on how to gauge whether treatment is successful or helpful for you, and offer support on the reasons why this may be, or not be, the case.
I also discuss when to know if we have had enough treatment and some of the steps towards reducing therapeutic intervention.