The first step towards recovery is admitting that you have an eating disorder. If you have been able to do that, you should be really proud of yourself, because it is not an easy thing to do. It is important to remember that recovering from an eating disorder does take a lot of hard work and time. You did not develop your eating disorder over night, and it will not go away that quickly either. Recovery can happen and it will, as long as you want it.
On your journey to recovery you will experience good days and bad days. Imagine that you are on a roller coaster ride. You will have a lot of ups and downs, but when the ride comes to its final stop, you will feel an inner peace and you will be free.
On the days when you feel trapped, hopeless and feel like giving up, those are the days you need to fight even harder. Never give up, because recovery is worth fighting for. Those inner voices can become very loud at times, but you do have the choice not to listen to them. Remember that those voices are only lying to you, and if you continue to listen to them, they will destroy you. You are stronger than those voices and you can go against them. The more you go against them, the weaker they will become. Each time you do succeed and ignore those voices, you are another step closer to recovery.
It is very important that you do seek help and support during your recovery. No one can do this alone and it is okay to ask for help. I tried for a long time to overcome my eating disorder on my own, but it just is not possible. Many of us find it difficult to seek help or feel too ashamed to admit to another person that we have an eating disorder. There is no shame in having an eating disorder and there is help available. You need someone to help you deal with and come to terms with the underlying issues that are causing you to do this to yourself. It's not easy to open up to someone and talk about how you are feeling, but it is necessary. I was always the type of person who kept everything to myself because I didn't want to bother anyone with my problems, but now that I have started talking, I feel like a big weight is being lifted off my shoulders. I still find it difficult to reveal my true feelings, and it can be scary at times, but I continue to do so, because I know it's what I have to do in order to free myself from my eating disorder. I personally feel, you have to heal the mind, before you can totally heal the body. Each day I continue to try my hardest to provide my body with the nutrition it needs and deserves. I don't always succeed, but I continue trying. I know that I will probably never be truly at peace with food and my body, until I deal with the issues that caused me to do this to myself and until I learn how to love and accept myself.
Thinking about living a life without your eating disorder can be frightening. You may wonder how you will live without it. When I first started receiving help, I was afraid to let go of it, because I didn't believe I could live without it. Even though I was afraid to live without it, deep down I knew that I could not survive with it. I wanted to live, which meant I really had to start fighting to make that happen. I also needed to remind myself that I could not recover perfectly and I needed to stop trying to. Every time I had a slip, I would get so angry with myself and I would end up punishing myself more. During recovery you will probably experience periods of relapse. It's natural for this to happen and it's to be expected. Don't get angry with yourself and don't dwell on it. Instead, remind yourself of all the positive things you have done and all the progress you have made. You can also learn from those relapses, and in the long run, they will make you stronger.
I have suffered from an eating disorder for twenty years and although I'm not totally recovered, and still have a ways to go, I have come a long way and I am confident that one day I will be totally freed from this eating disorder that has robbed me of so many precious years of my life. Looking back over the years, it sometimes amazes that I'm still alive, but I am very grateful to be alive, because I know that so many other people weren't as fortunate as I am. Those negative voices are still present, but I have chosen not to listen to them and I go against them daily, and so can you. I've also been blessed with a wonderful support system. I have a loving husband, family, and friends. I have been fortunate to meet many wonderful people through the internet that also suffer from an eating disorder. I have support from a family doctor who takes special care of me, and last, but certainly not least, I have the support from a wonderful therapist. He encourages me, supports me and most importantly, he listens to me. He has never given up on me and he believes in me. If it wasn't for him, I would have given up on myself a long time ago.
Recovering from an eating disorder is not easy, and at times it may feel impossible. It's important to keep fighting and never give up, because you are worth saving. Your eating disorder has been your only means of coping for a long time and it will take time to learn new and healthier ways of coping, but it is not impossible. Even though we need help and support to recover, the decision to recover is up to us. No one can make us recover and we are the ones that need to accept the help and take the necessary steps in order to make that happen. You also need to have faith in yourself and you need to start believing in yourself. If you believe in yourself, you can do anything you set your mind to and you can recover. There is a beautiful life waiting for you beyond your eating disorder, but it is up to you to find it.
I hope the information I have provided on this web site can be of help to you or to a loved one that is suffering from an eating disorder. It is my dream that one day no one will have to experience the pain of an eating disorder. Remember that eating disorders can be beaten, you don't have to be a prisoner to this anymore. You have suffered long enough and now it's time to set yourself free.
