Thursday-29/11/12-Thankful Thursday-Rachel

This week we end the rota by looking at Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
I discuss how it is something we are not always aware of "suffering" from, and it is also something that may go undiagnosed.
I discuss my experiences with trauma and trauma therapy and what I feel I gained from it.
Excellent article on the compulsion to repeat the trauma.

http://www.cirp.org/library/psych/vanderkolk/

An excellent book covering traumatic stress on mind, body and society.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Traumatic-Stress-Effects-Overwhelming-Experience/dp/1...

Friday - 16/11/12 - Rachel - Dealing with a Crisis

This week we are looking at "crisis" points.
I am not experienced in some of the things they may be, such as natural disasters.
I do talk about a "crisis" mental health period.
I also reflect on my dads redundancy and how that "crisis" impacted us as a family.
I willl go on next week to discussing changing schools during that time which is our topic (I think!)

Thankful Thursday - 08/10/12 -Rachel - Loss of Support

This can be loss of support after being in hospital, a best friend moving away, losing family support, moving therapists, therapeutic relationships terminating etc
I discuss my personal story with such things. They many concern losing support after being in hospital or a therapist.

Sunday with Rachel - Looking at surrounding ourselves with positive peop...

Today, I know it is Sunday!! I wanted to upload the last video for this rota. Having positive people in our lives is crucial to not only our recovery but general wellbeing. Just because a person is a friend or a good person doesn't always mean they are positive. For example if someone is ill, this can negatively effect you without them being a negative person.
siajanewords.blogspot.com

Thursday-25/10/12 - Thankful Thursday - Rachel - A Body Revolution - Per...

This week we look at "flaws"
Not a word I like as I think it keeps the cycle of self hatred towards the body going, but nonetheless, it is a work we use towards ourselves and it is a word that is circulated when we think about body image.
I don't see our "flaws" as that, I see them as markers, as part of us.
I discuss that in this video.

siajanewords.blogspot.com

Monday with Rachel - 22/10/12 - A Body Revolution - Comparisons

This week I discuss making comparisons and building a sense of self without needing validation and a need to feel good enough.
I discuss my personal struggle with comparisons and how I managed them.
Remember, to love the YOU that YOU are.

Thursday-11/10/12- Thankful Thursday-Rachel-A Body Revolution - Insecuri...

This week we are looking at tackling insecurities.
Following the launch of A Body Revolution 2013 by Lady Gaga, the videos are inspired by some of the issues that have led to such a concept.
For more information find information:

https://twitter.com/ABodyRevolution
https://www.facebook.com/LGABODYREVOLUTION13?ref=ts&fref=ts
http://littlemonsters.com/#abodyrevolution
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Csw0tyamcdo

Thursday-27/09/12-Thankful Thursday- Rachel- Personal means of coping in...

How did I cope in my recovery from Anorexia?
My coping mechanisms and those I have heard from others I work with.

Thursday-20/09/12-Thankful Thursday-Rachel-Personal Recovery Challenges

Personal challenges in recovery including associations with a healthy body, identity, self acceptance and sexuality.

Thursday-06/09/12-Thankful Thursday-Rachel-Who are YOU today!

Finally a video from the team.
I will be continuing this.
I also want to say that the group has continued to run with success and I just hope the resources here cane help as many people as possible.
Remember you can find me @ siajanewords.blogspot.com

Time Out!

Hey,

I just want you guys to know (whoever may read this!) that I have taken time out from Eating Disorder/mental health work, advocacy and such.
It is nothing personal per se, it is more about just seeing what else there is.
I love working in the field and it gives me so much working with others and showing them they can TRULY recover and fully recover at that.
I have stopped my You Tube videos for now, and the only real activity I have is with this HOPE group.

If any one is interested, please still feel free to contact me at siajanewords@gmail.com

Take care xoxo

Thursday - 10/05/12 - Thankful Thursday - Rachel - Overcoming Over Exerc...

This week I round up last weeks video too.
I discuss the role of over exercise within Eating Disorders and how compulsive over exercise is addictive and damaging, both physically and mentally.
I talk about the need to maybe take "time out" for a while, but to also maybe engage in moderation.
In recovery we may wish to "do exercise" but it doesn't have to be a forced thing that we feel guilty for should we not.
We can actually enjoy it; like going to dance classes with friends which is both social, good for you mood wise, and something that keeps you fit emotionally and physically.

Thursday- 26/04/12 - Thankful Thursday - Rachel - Sport, Personality Tra...

YES!! I PAUSE MOST OF THE WAY THROUGH but the SPEECH IS CLEAR. 
Imagine it as a pod cast as it were :)

siajanewords@gmail.com

This week I link both the nature of sport and personality traits and how they are used in sport and can also be traits of Eating Disorders.
I then discuss over exercise and how this is linked to Eating Disorders and how that can be managed.

Monday - 09/04/12 - Marvelous Monday - Rachel - Building Self Identity U...

siajanewords.blogspot.com


This is the third week on Identity.
1) Identity and Sexuality
2) Identity and Emotional Absue

And this week 3) Identity and Therapy.

Therapy can provide a significant means of building self identity.
It can help us restore, reclaim and rebuild who we are.
Illness, Eating Disorders, mental health difficulties, trauma, loss can all cause a person to literally crumble.
The point of therapy is to initially stabilise us, and then after this, to help us build and understand who we are without the illness.
Who we are as a person and how we interact with the world.
The things that make us *us* and the things we love.
Ultimately, I believe, such a process can lead to a full sense of self that is both confident and secure, within who they are and how they appear.

Sunday- 01/04/12- Smashing Sunday - Rachel - Impact of Emotional Abuse o...

Sorry for the late upload!!
Back at siajanewords.blogspot.com
Check out Lynn Crilly's book which is out tomorrow; "Hope with Eating Disorders" for you and your loved ones.
A very easy read and full of amazing information.
It will help you understand boundaries around how hard caring for a loved on can be.
Also check out "Stop Walking on Egg Shells" which will help you understand the boundaries which can filter away and turn into emotionally abusive behaviour.
Note; I talk about behaviour as just because someone acts in emotionally abusive ways, it does not mean they *are* an abusive person.
It means their illness needs boundaries

Thursday-22/03/12- Thankful Thursday- Rachel- Identity and Sexuality

This week we start a rota on IDENTITY!
Today I look at sexuality and identity.

The realization, acceptance, and coming out (publicly and privately)
Coming out allows one to be who they truly are and establishes an integrated sense of self. Why this is important? Challenges? Worries? Concerns about what family/friends may think. 

Inspiration for Recovery ♥

"Open your eyes, you can fly."

~Elena Kalis~

Last week the Werfreedomfighters team did a collection of videos on healthy role models, recovery, inspiration and the value of those relationships in recovery and in life really.

I didn't get chance to make a video, but this is a topic that always interests me and always makes me want to share my thoughts and feelings on it all.

The above image is by the wonderful Elena Kalis and is just perfect for the depiction of freedom and letting go.

Recovery and health are really the two things that allow us to live our lives to the best of our capacity and also in a way that brings out the best in us and in those around us.

Recovery and health can however appear to be elusive creatures.

Often within the Eating Disorder arena, we are told that true recovery doesn't exist.

That if a person is to recover, then they were never really *that* ill.

There is often a lot of jealousy and envy wrapped into Eating Disorders and that can be implemented and acted out in sickness and in health.

I am one of those who believes in full and complete recovery.

I believe I not only have achieved that, I also believe that in achieving that, I can, as it were, be a role model for that possibility.

I am far from alone.

I know many of wonderful, amazing and inspiring men and women who have fully recovered.

In fully recovering, many have gone on to be advocates in mental health and Eating Disorders.

Some are activists, some are grass route campaigners, some volunteer, some run charities, some are training to be a professional in the field.

There are numerous ways we can make a difference to those in recovery and to those who are struggling.

Often by engaging ourselves in positive activism, advocacy and awareness, we reaffirm just what we too are capable of.

In acting as a mentor, peer or role model for another, we also act as one for ourselves.

I know most who take the position of mentor, or recovery worker or facilitator are doing so with their heart.

They do it because they are choosing to make a difference.

In making a difference they act as angels of hope.

They fill others with strength, courage, support, belief, endurance and motivation.

I have discussed role models a few times whilst being part of the team. 

In this video I look at;

Who are the women that have most influenced you in your life? Describe the characteristics they have not related to appearance. What makes them special? How can we use this to understand that our value is also not based on body size and shape?

My videos often tell you how to recover, this one shares a little in the why !

"Asking why recover? Is like asking a seed, why grow?"

Not my quote but one that has always stuck in my head.
Recovery is on going, and yet, with persistence can and does, allow fully recovery to be achieved. I am living proof of that.
Recovery is enduring, hard and exhausting.
It will be the hardest thing you ever do.
BUT it is so worth it. 

Click here for why.

And here are two videos that also discuss why recovery is so worth it.

Part one.

Part two.

Thursday- March 1st - Thankful Thursday - Rachel - Self-Injury Awareness...

siajnewords.blogspot.com

This is the second week of EDAW 2012 and so the videos will keep coming.
I will do my usual video tomorrow looking at breaking the silence with Eating Disorders.

However, today is MARCH 1st and SELF-INJURY AWARENESS DAY
So today I pledge to break the silence by discussing my experience with self harm.
I talk openly and honestly about my struggles and most essentially, the fact I FULLY recovered from such behaviours.

Speak out.
Use your voice.
Set yourself free.

Thursday-23/02/12 - Thankful Thursday - Rachel - Throw the Diagnosis Out...

siajanewords.blogspot.com

EDAW 2012 Break The Silence

This week is EDAW and this video is all about asking you to let go of the thought of a diagnosis, or what someone with an Eating Disorder typically looks like, and to focus on you and what you feel.
You may be trying to speak out for the first time, or you may be in recovery and relapsing and are scared of letting people know for fear of disappointment.
The point of this video is that YOU matter and how you FEEL matters and not what label you may or may not be.

Beat
Body Gossip 
Hungry for Change 

EDAW - Rachel - Tuesday - Reach Out, Use Your Voice

Thursday -16/02/12 - Thankful Thursday - Rachel - Exposing Ourselves to ...

siajanewords.blogspot.com

This week is looking again at triggers, but more why we expose ourselves to them, and why we continue to.
I speak about it as being an addiction of sorts.
A means and a behaviour that is obsessive and compulsive, and even when we don't want to, or try not to, we cannot help but do so.
I explore some of that and ways of reducing that.

Pro-Recovery Project - Rachel :)

For the month of February I have been asked to join a Pro-Recovery Project, which has been initiated by Anne-Sophie from Fighting Anorexia.

So this is what I came up with when I talk about recovery from an Eating Disorder.

There are a lot of misconceptions about whether real recovery exists. Perhaps some of these thoughts stem from the fact that it is difficult to imagine that a person who has been at such conflict with themselves and their body, can ever be remedied, and certainly not fully. Is it maybe a difficulty to think that someone with an Eating Disorder can unlock a very difficult place within themselves and walkthrough said door towards a pathway leading to full healing.

From what I have seen, the human spirit is far more resilient than we maybe think. We can see this in many different places and in many different situations. Take for example a documentary I watched just the other night. It was about the desperate struggle of young children who were born into brothels in Calcutta’s red light district. A very inspiring young woman, Zana Briski, developed a relationship with these children and using the power of photography, asked these children to quite literally capture the world around them. Zana’s idea was to use photography as a medium for translating to us and the wider world, what it is to be part of such an environment. The project aimed to free these children from the tight grasp of a dark and seedy underworld, and release them into a space of hope, aspiration and freedom. On watching this documentary, I couldn’t help but wonder where does such resilience, power, and determination come from? These children had found a way of talking and using their voice through even just one image captured on film. It is clear that such resilience exists because these children showed in all its awe the capacity of humanity in the fight against adversity.

Recovery from an Eating Disorder may seem a ridiculous thing to compare with the fate of street children in India, but in fact there are more similarities than we once thought. I might not have been born in a brothel, quite the opposite, I was born into a very loving, caring and generous family, where my parents were together and myself and my younger brother were given all the possibilities my parents could offer us. Yet, out of the seams of the underground, it would seem I was to develop an illness that is a Western curse, that of an Eating Disorder. I would not suffer and struggle in ways these children did, but I cannot help but think that my suffering, if I am fair to myself, was no different than these children. This could never be a literal translation, and yet the horrors of suffering through a disease such as an Eating Disorder, surely is comparable given its sheer depth of suffering. Maybe the connection for me came when I watched a young boy with the camera he was given. He did not stop taking pictures and whilst his willingness to engage floundered, which of course can be forgiven, he continued. He forged a path forward despite all the odds. I would like to think that I did the same.

An Eating Disorder isn’t something to be gently put aside. At our lowest points of illness, there are no words that can satisfy the starved dogged hunger within us which encapsulates the experience. I also don’t think we could ever truly understand the daily battle the street children faced, and yet, we were given insight into a hidden world. As I type these words, I want to focus on the path each of us can furnace from nothing but rubble. The plight of these children was mentioned, expressed, portrayed, but the documentary was about their growth. Recovery from any affliction or suffering is about healing. Using nothing more than a camera and print, these images set these young children free. I too want to focus on the letting go, the freeing of myself from disease, and to not focus on what it was but what it became.

What became is full recovery from the wasted landscape of the profoundly messy world of an Eating Disorder. I hesitate to name my disorder. The limited boxes used to group Eating Disorders are far too restricted for it to have any meaning. What I will say is that recovering from my Eating Disorder, has been the hardest thing I have ever done, and will ever do, in my life. I reframe from modesty at this point because I am increasingly and incredibly proud of how far I have come. I can understand why other writers or journalists find it necessary to talk about just what illness is, because with that comes the sensationalism of what there now is. The shock value compels the reader further. You won’t find that here. Instead I would like to tell you what recovery has given me.

The day I chose to eat, was the day I chose to turn my life around. The day I chose to accept my body for what it is, is the day I chose to turn my life around. And the day I chose to let go of any remnants of this illness, is the day I fully recovered. Over the years I have written at length about how I personally define recovered life. I know there are a lot of sufferers who have their own interpretation of recovered, because let’s face it; anything is better than full engulfment in the illness. For me however, there are a number of distinct factors that incorporate being recovered. The obvious for me were weight restoration to a point of health, eating a healthy, balanced and varied diet, with no safe foods or foods I feared. There was then the social integration back into life, the letting go of compulsive and obsessive behaviours, sleeping enough, and finally, the living. A lyric speaks, we might all be alive, but not everyone lives. And that is the key to recovered life; the actual living. To look at me, talk to me, spend your days with me, you would never have thought I had a live threatening disease a number of years ago. Maybe if you asked about how I experienced my twenties and how I spent my days and nights existing you would. Madness aside, and the importance of life highlighted, I have learnt an awful lot. Life lessons too few master. I have learnt to appreciate the tiny drops of hope and faith I find in people or places. I can spend a day with a camera and my environment and feel full contentment. I can, each and every day, feel grateful for the life I live. I can see that others, who suffer, regardless of what, when or for how long, can also recover fully. I have found a passion in life I don’t believe we are given in manufactured parts. Passion is careful carved into our daily living. We find an outlet, an expression. Some of the most wonderful minds, and creative geniuses’, are those who have suffered hardship and this takes me back to my discussion at the beginning of this, about the children in Calcutta. 

Hardship, suffering, pain, trauma, adversity, is different for us all. But what comes out of that is maybe similar. Maybe the people we become are similar. We are our individual selves, but we are assured and confident in that. We have hope, a huge capacity for hope itself, and the belief that in the end, ultimately, we are going to be okay, because if we have endured what we have, we can come through anything. In liberating ourselves from those chains and allowing ourselves to believe, our faith in both ourselves and humanity itself evolves. We are no longer isolated, alone, feared, frustrated, immobilised. It sounds cliché to write that we are liberated, not bound by self doubt and wrapped around the tight grasp of our mind and our surroundings. We cannot change ourselves by changing our environment in the literal sense, it can help of course, but we carry ourselves with us as we walk through life. On repeat in my head used to be a quote I read from “Prozac Nation” by Elizabeth Wurtzel;“How can you hide from what never goes away? (Heraclitus).” We can however dare to dream, to imagine and to envisage what our recovery can be and will be and what we want it to be.  

I dared to dream. I dared to picture the life I so wished for. And as I dreamt of those things, I strived for those things. With a lot of determination, and a fierce resilience to all the thoughts in my mind, I surpassed my demons, my adversity. I set it free amongst the tops of mountains and roof tops. I sang in the rain, jumped in the puddles. I climbed caves, and jumped off bridges attached to a bungee. I got my degree, I followed a career in psychology. I spoke about my cause, I endeavoured to be a voice to those too ill to speak. 

I lived. 

I survived. 

I am alive. 

I live. 

And that is being recovered ♥♥♥

Thursday- 09/02/12 - Thankful Thursday- Rachel - Planning for Unexpected...

Toolbox video:

Facebook Resources page:

Triggers has been discussed numerous times.

This week though I look at triggers that can maybe not be predicted.

Not just connected to eating disorders, but triggers for anxiety, mood changes, flashbacks, hallucinations etc.

We cannot escape the world around us or society, but we can reflect on situations, people, places etc that could trigger us and how to plan for that.

But also triggers are unexpected and I try to explain how to maybe manage those.

New to the H.O.P.E Group :)

Wonderful art work by a wonderful member of the H.O.P.E group.

We now have a Pinterest account for even more inspiration.

Thursday-02/02/12- Thankful Thursday - Rachel - My Narrative from Sickne...

siajanewords,blogspot.com

Another metaphor!

This week we discuss the use of a metaphor for our illness and recovery.
I begin with what it was to be ill with Anorexia, Depression, Self harm etc
And how Art Therapy held the key to unlocking a voice for myself.
I explore what Art Therapy gave me with regards to metaphors of how I saw where I was.
I then move onto how I saw my recovery, and even life.
I never really named or used metaphors for either illness or wellness.
But here I explore that.

Thursday - 26/01/12 - Thankful Thursday - Rachel - The Transition from I...

siajanewords.blogspot.com


This weeks video is looking at the transition from illness/sickness into a place of health and recovery.
The idea of change and even changing is very overwhelming at times and can all feel too much.
Often you may ask what am I or who am I without my Eating Disorder.
We might wonder what else is there except my Eating Disorder?
If we slowly introduce positive activities and distractions we start to build a life outside of our illness.
We are all more than an Eating Disorder.

Distract With Positivity

This is a resource one of the members of the H.O.P.E group shared.

It is called "Pinterest"

Check it out :)

Friday-20/01/12-Fabulous Friday-Rachel-Assessing Our Vulnerabilities and...

siajanewords.blogspot.com


I discuss the fact that as people and as those who suffer and are in recovery, we may be vulnerable to the persistent messages put out there by a number of sources.
Many Eating Disorder sufferers also struggle with elements of Body Dysmorphic Disorder and this can make us even more susceptible to ideas/protects/views that we need *something* to feel better, be better, look better, be more than we are, more acceptable etc
We take in this fake promise that everything will be magically better if we do X, Y or Z.


Often we can think we are recovering, or healthy or even recovered, because we *eat* and we eat *healthily*
But that isn't always the case.
I talk about how to recognise and identify and how to watch out for such instances.

Friday-13/01/12-Fabulous Friday-Rachel-Challenging Misconceptions of Eat...

siajanewords.blogspot.com
holdontopower.blogspot.com
Men Get Eating Disorders Too

I am sorry this is on a Friday again!
Today I discuss misconceptions with Eating Disorders.
How other people see them, but also how YOU see them.
Sometimes those around us and society confirm our fears of what we *think* we are with an Eating Disorder.
Other times we think we are certain things and put that message out there.
Eating Disorders are more often than not completely misrepresented; in the media, by others and such.
I try to work with that and understand that.

Emotions ♥

Yes yes, you need to get a copy of this.

I gave it out to my H.O.P.E members and I think it is actually a really wonderful means of trying to state how we feel.
And whilst each image is individually interpreted, I find that at least it is giving voice to a feeling.

I have used it many times, and I know a lot of treatment teams use it.

Many people with Eating Disorders also struggle with Alexithymia and this can make understanding and expressing our emotions and feelings very difficult indeed.

Thursday-05/01/12-Thankful Thursday-Rachel-Distorted Perceptions of Your...

siajanewords.blogspot.com

This week we go back to the last part of the rota, before beginning a new one next week.
Today I discuss distorted perceptions...
Of your body, of your personality, of who you are, of how others perceive you...
I talk about the conflict that can arise from this within yourself and in relationships with others.
I also discuss the various distortions that exists such as black and white thinking, self-blame, misconceptions etc